Identify the problem

It's important to understand a problem before you can successfully solve it. Take time to analyze the problem. Write down a brief description of the problem you want to solve. Then ask yourself these questions:

• What is happening?
• Where and when is it happening?
• Is it happening around certain people or in specific situations?
• How do you feel about it?
• What can you do about the situation?

Be specific and focus on issues. Try to avoid assigning blame. Now take a step back. Consider these questions to determine if the problem deserves the time you'll spend resolving it:

• Is the problem really that big? Would others think so? Are you making a big deal out of something that is relatively trivial?
• Will this problem matter in two years?
• If you could solve this problem, would your life improve?
• Is there any part of the problem over which you have control?

You can't change everything, so it's best to focus on issues you can realistically change and that will make a real difference in your level of stress. In other words: Choose your battles.